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A Different Kind of Daughter: The Girl Who Hid from the Taliban in Plain Sight, by Maria Toorpakai
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'It's hard enough to become the best in the world at anything. It's even harder when people want to kill you just for trying.' (Mary Carillo, NBC Sports)
Maria Toorpakai Wazir has lived her life disguised as a boy, defying the Taliban, in order to pursue her love of sport. Coming second in a national junior weightlifting event for boys, Maria decided to put her future in her own hands by going in disguise. When she discovered squash and was easily beating all the boys, life became more dangerous.
Heart-stopping and profoundly moving, in A Different Kind of Daughter Maria shares the story of her long road and eventual triumph, pursuing the sport she loved, defying death threats and following her dream.
- Sales Rank: #187596 in Audible
- Published on: 2016-02-25
- Released on: 2016-02-25
- Format: Unabridged
- Original language: English
- Running time: 742 minutes
Most helpful customer reviews
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful.
Ten stars for Courage!!!
By BookAce
Where do I start here? I absolutely could not put this book down!! When I discovered that Maria's father was a Feminist, as was Maria's sister, and her mother went to college even after marrying this man she had never met before.... I knew I was in uncharted waters and things could only get better and more interesting from the start.
Maria's father had a sister named Maria, who died of perhaps a broken heart? The oppression that the women had to face was awful, insurmountable in most cases, and most probably the first Maria died of a broken heart from not being allowed to be who she really was - NOT a water bearer having to dress up in voluminous heavy beaded dresses, just because she was born female.
When Maria Toorpakai was VERY young, she burned all her dresses, cut off all her hair and put on her brother's clothes. Disguised as a boy, renamed Genghis Kahn by her (approving) father, she was FREE to play, to roam the countryside in Pakistan with the neighborhood boys, to play and fight, and get into fights she did indeed!!
In a small way this book reminds me of my mother-- a staunch feminist from the day she was born -- 1920 (November 22, by the way!)-- and how when pregnant with me, she knitted everything blue. I popped out pink-- that did not deter her OR me. Mom's first words of advice before I went to school was "If someone hits you -- YOU hit them back!" Mom bought me boys' clothes and understood (although to a lesser degree than Maria's father) where I was "coming from". My sister was outspoken, like Maria's sister -- and so my interesting family background made me appreciate all the more, Maria's yearnings, struggles and inner flame.
Maria's prose is descriptive indeed. I can see the water buckets with bits of twigs floating on the surface, feel the coolness of the courtyard, hear her father's delighted roars of approval when he "home-schools" his children on life as they shake the branches of a fruit tree in the courtyard and the fruits rains down on all, like giggles -- all this while he himself was being shunned or persecuted by other relatives, for being so different and controversial. When little Maria, dressed in her baby gown, at 3 yrs of age, gets the better of the village men playing volleyball, and gets beaten, my heart sank. And all though this, precocious Maria, never said ANYTHING to her father about this-- she was a VERY tough soul, Fast forward to her personal 'liberation" -- as she grew, as Genghis Kahn, the fights Maria gets into were monumental-- I admired her self-discipline in her strength training, and her ability to hold her own -- against boys who had no idea they were getting royally beaten by a young woman.
Maria's sister, Ayesha, was strong willed as well, and used her strength to fight for Woman's Rights in her country. Meeting Benazir Bhutto was a landmark in HER life, as was the horrific end of her idol and mentor. Ayesha uses her strength and resolve to fight for Women's Rights in Pakistan. In her book, Maria writes of this with sensitivity, poignancy and deep emotion as she describes PM Bhutto's assassination and Ayesha's unabated resolve.
When Maria's father, ever a calming influence, finally pulled Maria (Genghis Kahn) off the last person she would probably ever street fight with, he quoted Plato to her-- which helped turn her life around-- and use her energies for something much less dangerous (in a sense) -- no more teeth knocked out, no more bloody road rash, just days lifting weights and competing in contests, with her brother, who looked after her and protected her. Kudos to him!!. And then one day she fell in love with Squash. And at this point, she was 12 years old... Her ruse would shortly be no longer valid. And so she competes as a woman. And so incurs the wrath of her countrymen.
Maria and her family had persevered through countless moves to other parts of the countryside, other villages, felt the pinch of poverty and bounty, and through it all maintained a strong family structure. But this time, Maria decides that ALL around her would be safer if she left the country.
This book has no end. It caught me up in a whirlwind of dry sand, hot tempers, familial love and devotion and the infectious, contagious resolve for justice that can move mountains and hearts.
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful.
Memoir of an amazing woman and her remarkable family
By E.M. Bristol
When she was a little girl living in Afghanistan, Maria Toorpaki, like many young tomboys, found fancy dresses confining. Unlike many, however, she took the drastic step of gathering her ultra feminine wardrobe - and burning it to a crisp. Surprisingly (at least to this reader), her free-thinking father allowed Maria to dress and otherwise pass outside their home as a boy. Accepted by her family for who she was, Maria nevertheless found a very different view of her actions and had several violent encounters with Taliban officials as a child. But undaunted and searching for an outlet for her energy and aggression, Maria took up weightlifting and eventually competed as a boy under the name of "Genghis Khan" (which her father had given her). Despite the occasional humiliating moment at tournaments over doubt as to her true sex, Maria continued to participate in such competitions. Later, she discovered the sport of squash and played at nearby academy, despite initially being the only girl and facing bullying from her peers. Her family, already considered outcasts of a sort in their community, began to face further persecution after 9-11, with her parents, both teachers, risking their lives daily to do their job, and Maria herself facing death threats. Eventually, for safety's sake, she began playing only at home, but did return to the academy after a period, where she at last found herself competing against girls. She later emigrated and thanks to a squash coach mentor, took a job coaching, as well as starting a nonprofit.
This story has all the hallmarks of a Hollywood movie about the triumph of the underdog, but it's even more inspiring than most that make it to the big screen. I can't imagine having the courage, resilience and persistence that Maria did, as she pursued her study of squash in a war-torn country. Nor can I imagine receiving death threats for simply wanting to participate in athletics. This is a truly remarkable book.
15 of 17 people found the following review helpful.
An intimate portrait of a female athlete in Taliban country
By N. B. Kennedy
Maria Toorpakai was born in the 1990s in the fractious tribal lands of South Waziristan on Pakistan's border with Afghanistan. It's a conservative area, to say the least -- even in the pre-Al Queda, pre-Taliban era, women were supposed to dress pretty and stay in the home. At the time, girls could be educated, but only to an elementary level. But Maria was "a different kind of girl," as she says, one who chafed in the heavy clothes intended to hide her body and the walls that were supposed to reign in her ambitions. One who through violent acts learned all she needed to know about who she was expected to be.
One day, Maria decides she would rather risk it all than continue in her smothering existence. She begins to dress as a boy in shorts and a t-shirt and go out among the boys of her valley to kick around a soccer ball, ride bikes and generally roam where she will. As it becomes clear that the home and school room can't hold her, her parents -- both banished from their families because of their liberal ways -- encourage her. "My mother... pursued university degrees; and my father, our Baba, who also had given his wife permission to stop wearing her burqa, stood at the center of it all like a ringmaster, breaking ancient rules with the relentless daring of a hot-blooded Wazir," she writes.
Maria's fighting spirit begins to get her into deadly scrapes, especially after the family is forced to relocate to the city of Peshawar, until one day her father leads her to a sports complex and allows her to begin training first as a weightlifter and then as a squash player. She keeps up the ruse of being a boy for a long time, until one day the secret gets out. Not only does she suffer daily bullying and intimidation from her fellow squash players, but the Taliban come after her as well. A female athlete? Not allowed in their world. "Living with such fear finally sucked the life out of everything," she writes. "We were all living in a nightmare." With the knowledge that her existence as a champion squash player was not possible in Pakistan, she reaches out to the West for help.
From the news reports we get here in the West, we can't imagine that any kind of daily life goes on at all in regions of the world terrorized by violent extremists. One of the reasons this book was so compelling for me was how Maria describes her family's life -- some days so normal and some so terror filled, especially after the rise of violent extremism. It's incredible to me that her parents could continue to teach in the tribal lands, threatened as they were almost daily with torture and death. Maria herself goes to great lengths to continue her training, until it becomes clear that she is endangering not only herself but everyone in the training complex. I fear for her family once this book is published. I hope they've made plans for protection.
If you enjoy this book, you might also want to read The Dressmaker of Khair Khana: Five Sisters, One Remarkable Family, and the Woman Who Risked Everything to Keep Them Safe, a story of the bravery of women in Taliban-controlled Afghanistan.
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